These past couple of days have been tough! The little girl has been cranky, not eating, not drinking, so she has been very unhappy. So, I took a trip to Target to find some cute toys for her this Christmas. I had nooooo luck whatsoever. It was very frustrating. I am in such a wrapping mode, I even wrapped a pack of socks I got for myself, I have to have something under that tree. This is the time that I am in charge of doing the presents, making the place feel like home, starting our own family traditions, and getting all the presents under the tree. Wow, how did my mom do it with FIVE kids?? Growing up I used to wake up to blueberry muffins, eat in pajama's, have some family time/open gifts, and enjoy the day. Now it is up to me?
At Target, I got so stressed about having gifts under the tree, I forgot the whole point of Christmas. No, I am not the best Christian there is out there, but I want that feeling. I want my house to be a home. I want June to have the wonderful memories of waking up to family and just...have a good day. She was so fussy at Target I had to leave before I was the parent of the crying kid they just ignore and go on with their shopping (and she rarely is fussy out in public). After an hour of trying to get her to drink ANYTHING, I put her down for a very late nap. An hour later she woke up cranky and hungry. Another fun task was getting her to eat. She ate some oatmeal and I knew it was time for bed. I figured a nice relaxing shower with me would do the trick. Oh how wrong I was. This shower was not relaxing or any fun for either of us. She was so tired and clingy she wouldn't stop crying and I had to clean myself before the water went cold (Baca took one earlier). I ended up flinging soap in her eyes (and mine lol). Finally, we were clean, cold, and both ready to get out. Needing some help, I yelled for Baca. He took his time. After getting angry I got some help but, Baca was not feeling well (only running on 4 hours of sleep for 3 days). I realized this and told him to go to bed, he has been working so hard in his final week of this semester. I could at least put her to bed even though I was expecting the worst. June and I both go in her room and instead of plopping her in the crib and singing a song, we sit in her rocking chair and I read her two books. She was calm. She studied the pages as I read and I took my time turning them. After the books, she still didn't make a peep. My mind went to my friend who said she says a prayer with her boy before every nap and bedtime. I held June close and said a short but very faithful prayer. June was still calm. I picked her up, turned on her nightlight and gave her one more kiss and squeeze. I walked out without hearing much of anything. The usual routine would be her starting to cry, and it would take her 15 min or more to settle down and eventually sleep. Tonight was great. Ending such a hard day with such sweetness. I can't believe I forget to ask for help through prayer. I asked for peace, a good nights sleep for everybody, and thank our lucky stars for all that we have. So far my husband is snoring next to me, June is out, and I am grateful for the feeling of love I got from our prayer. Life is good. Sometimes I just forget :)
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